think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
