i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
