soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
