I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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