i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize