how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
