This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
