Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
