and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
