Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
