But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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