Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
