I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
