If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
