What did we do last night that was yellow?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize