garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
