She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize