new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
May the power of my ass compel you!!
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
