I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
