I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
wow bdsm is so cute
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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