i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I skipped work to stalk him.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
