Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize