he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
