that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
