it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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