sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
