I don't think brook has ever known best
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
