So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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