Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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