You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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