I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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