mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
