I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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