Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
