I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
