wanna go halves on a baby?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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