I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
