just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
