seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
