thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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