So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
