mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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