Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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