just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
50% drunk capacity currently
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
