Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
