Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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