Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
