Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
His nipple licking is glorious
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