she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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