Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
