I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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