I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
