I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
