Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
They took my balls.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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