So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
