Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She bit a glass in half.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
