My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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