The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
