That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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