Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
